yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize