The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
