PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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