So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
