I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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