; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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