glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
