i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
