If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
