I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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