U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
