he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
