You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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