I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
