i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
