Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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