So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
