508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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