i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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