i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
