Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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