why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
