That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
