I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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