Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
