So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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