I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
