It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
