ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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