Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
