That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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