I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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