why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
