thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
