I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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