Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
