no, he came in my armpit
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
