i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize