Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
