Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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