question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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