The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
