He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
two words...techno handjob
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
