the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if only i could text you this smell
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
