i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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