Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
