The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
