whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
