everyone is single if you try hard enough
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
