Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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