If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All the doctor said was why
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
