ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
