I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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