Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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