i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
