Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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