There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize