Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
