What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
