i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
