dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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