you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My dick has a subreddit
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
