sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
