there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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