You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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