mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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