member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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