Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
