Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
