Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So drunk its hurt
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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